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    MATEO Chairman Board of Accountancy APPROVED: TERESITA R. MANSFIELD, MA—Increasingly anxious at the distance between the lead vocalist and center stage, concertgoers told reporters Tuesday that they were worried Incubus frontman Brandon Boyd might not make it back to the microphone in time for the third chorus of “Wish You Were Here.” LOS ANGELES—Unexpectedly penning lyrics about colorful autumn foliage and summer cottages on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee, alternative rock band Red Hot Chili Peppers accidentally wrote a song about New Hampshire, sources reported Friday. As men grow old, they tend to become less adventurous.

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    “You have no idea what it’s like to be called beautiful all the time,” a good friend once remarked.

    “It’s like your biggest accomplishment is something you didn’t do yourself.” She wasn’t being rude; I’m not beautiful in the traditional sense.

    It might help explain, for example, why Pretty Woman actress Julia Roberts found the somewhat facially-challenged Lyle Lovett alluring enough to marry.

    It's a speed-dating night, and Stan has ten minutes to woo and charm each of the ten women. For the past two years, Stan has been writing a hugely popular blog about his experiences looking for love.

    My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.

    I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards). “I don’t have to.” [Go ahead, ladies, make the first move.

    Akin to a beauty contest scorecard, a person's attractiveness is ranked from one to 10.

    And generally, it's presumed that the beautiful Amazons among us (the eights, nines, and 10s) should only date each other -- while the "uglies" of the bunch (the twos, threes, and fours) must stick to their own Quasimodo kind.

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